Signs of Abuse and HowYou Can Help
Warning signs of emotional abuse in children
▪ Excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong.
▪ Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding;
extremely passive or extremely aggressive).
▪ Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver.
▪ Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children)or inappropriately
infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, tantruming).
Warning signs of physical abuse in children
▪ Frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts.
▪ Is always watchful and “on alert,” as if waiting for something bad to happen.
▪ Injuries appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt.
▪ Shies away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go
home.
▪ Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on
hot days.
Warning signs of neglect in children
▪ Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather.
▪ Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair,noticeable
body odor).
▪ Untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
▪ Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and
environments.
▪ Is frequently late or missing from school.
Warning signs of sexual abuse in children
▪ Trouble walking or sitting.
▪ Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or
even seductive behavior.
▪ Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason.
▪ Doesn’t want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical
activities.
▪ An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14.
▪ Runs away from home.
Helping an abused or neglected child
What should you do if you suspect that a child has been abused? How do you approach him or her? Or what if a child comes to you? It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed and confused in this situation. Child abuse is a difficult subject that can be hard to accept and even harder to talk about.
Just remember, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of an abused child, especially if you take steps to stop the abuse early. When talking with an abused child, the best thing you can provide is calm reassurance and unconditional support. Let your actions speak for you if you’re having trouble finding the words. Remember that talking about the abuse may be very difficult for the child. It’s your job to reassure the child and provide whatever help you can.
Tips for talking to an abused child
▪ Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
▪ Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his or her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions.This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.
▪ Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.
▪ Safety comes first. If you feel that your safety or the safety oft he child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.
Reporting child abuse and neglect
If you suspect a child is being abused,it’s critical to get them the help he or she needs. Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’lives.
Understanding some of the myths behind reporting may help put your mind at ease if you need to report child abuse
▪ I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
▪ What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home - unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
▪ They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous.In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse.The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
▪ It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.
Further Help
If you are looking for a therapist or counselor in the United States, even if only for a couple of consultations, the National Counsel on Child Abuse has an extensive list of therapists and clinics around the country that specialize in treating people with histories of severe child abuse. See their page About the Help Desk.
If you need immediate information about and/or connection to resources in your own community, here are four 24-hour toll- that you can call:
Rape Abuse & Incest National Network
1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)
RAINN has a 24-hour National Sexual Assault Hotline and a National Sexual Assault On line Hotline (chat) staffed with trained volunteers and paid staff members who also have knowledge of sexual abuse issues and services. All calls are confidential, and callers may remain anonymous if they wish.
National Domestic Violence/Abuse Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 TDD
This is a 24-hour-a-day hotline, staffed by trained volunteers whore ready to connect people with emergency help in their own communities,including emergency services and shelters. The staff can also provide information and referrals for a variety of non-emergency services, including counseling for adults and children, and assistance in reporting abuse. They have an extensive database of domestic violence treatment providers in all U.S. states and territories. Many staff members speak languages besides English, and they have 24-hour access to translators for approximately 150 languages. For the hearing impaired, there is a TDD number.
This is a good resource for people who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence or abuse, or who suspect that someone they know is being abused (though it is not perfect, and may not have the best number in your area). All calls to the hotline are confidential, and callers may remain anonymous if they wish.
